InnerRoomSpace wellbeing guide
How to Find Your Values
Clarify what matters most to you so decisions and goals are guided by more than pressure, comparison or other people's expectations.
Quick answer
Values are qualities and directions that matter to you, such as connection, curiosity, honesty, creativity, security or contribution. To find yours, look at moments when you felt proud, fulfilled, angry or disappointed and ask what mattered underneath the reaction.
Values are not goals you finish. They are more like directions.
A goal might be getting a new job; the value underneath it might be growth, security, independence or contribution.
Start with what already matters
NHS problem-solving guidance suggests writing down the areas of life that are most important to you when you feel overwhelmed by competing problems.
This same exercise can help reveal your priorities.
Use emotional clues
- What makes you proud?
- What makes you angry because it feels unfair?
- What do you admire in other people?
- What loss would feel especially meaningful?
- What kind of person do you want to be in difficult moments?
Separate values from approval
Ask whether a goal matters to you or mainly feels like something you are supposed to want.
A value should still make sense even if nobody else is impressed by it.
Choose a small set
List ten possibilities
Write quickly without overthinking.
Group similar values
For example growth and learning may overlap.
Choose three to five
Prioritising makes values easier to use.
Define what each means to you
The same word can mean different things to different people.
Turn values into behaviour
Values become useful when they influence choices.
Ask: 'What would a small action consistent with this value look like this week?'
Common questions
Frequently asked questions
Can values change?
Yes. Priorities and values can develop as your life and experiences change.
Is family a value?
It can represent values such as connection, responsibility, care or belonging. Try to identify what specifically matters underneath the category.
How many values should I choose?
There is no correct number, but a smaller set is easier to use when making decisions.
About this resource
Sources, standards & further information
This guide provides general wellbeing and self-development information from InnerRoomSpace. Important factual claims are supported by appropriate external sources, and the content is written to be clear, practical and proportionate rather than diagnostic.
Sources & further reading
Editorial standards
- • Written as general wellbeing and self-development information, not medical diagnosis or treatment.
- • Sources are included where external evidence materially informs the guide.
- • We do not describe content as clinically reviewed unless a suitably qualified reviewer is explicitly named.
Last updated: 11 August 2026
InnerRoomSpace is not a medical service. Personal growth resources are not a substitute for professional mental health care. If low mood, anxiety or other mental health difficulties are persistent, severe or affecting everyday life, speak with an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
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